A U.N. report published today says that the female gender exhibits the largest carbon footprint of the two sexes. Bound to generate controversy, the study spans two decades of research into the energy consumption of men and women in mainly industrialized countries. The authors point to female's use of hairspray, curling irons, their longer and more frequent showers, their excessive use of toilet paper and cosmetics, getting lost while driving (resulting in more fuel consumption), and frequent trips to drycleaners as reasons for the larger carbon output.
To combat the problem, the study authors suggest new legislation in developed countries to curb the excessive carbon output. Possible legislative solutions include banning curling iron use for more than 5 minutes, requiring females to have GPS navigation systems installed in their cars, limiting toilet paper to 3 squares per bathroom visit, and encouraging the use of environment-friendly cosmetics like dirt, clay, or mud.
We tried to reach the authors for comment and learned from their spouses that they were “unavailable for comment for the foreseeable future”. We will stay on this story as it develops…
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2 comments:
Funny - actually very funny - I am impressed and in total agreement with the recommendations to curb the carbon footprints (feetprints?) of our "better" halves. They could also cut down on CO2 emissions by not talking so much as they are instructed in 1st Timothy 2:12.
Funny - actually very funny - I am impressed and in total agreement with the recommendations to curb the carbon footprints (feetprints?) of our "better" halves. They could also cut down on CO2 emissions by not talking so much as they are instructed in 1st Timothy 2:12.
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