Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Duke Lacrosse Scandal Harms Underground Economy


Durham, NC – The aftermath of the infamous Duke Lacrosse scandal has lead to dreadful economic times for the community’s “underground economy”. Local sex workers say that because of the false accusations of rape and kidnapping they cannot find enough work to support their growing families. “Taz”, a 32 year old sex worker, says she hasn’t been called to perform naked for any parties since the scandal erupted in 2006. “I’ve got babies to feed. If I can’t work, who’s gonna feed ‘em?” she says. Folks in allied industries have similar complaints. “Andrew”, a bouncer at a local gentleman’s club, says that guys are too afraid to come in these days.

Local government officials have launched a special assistance program for these workers who operate largely in the shadows of the high-brow elite college community. Sex workers can apply for benefits ranging from relocation assistance to other towns to special job training. The job training is offered at nearby Durham Technical College and includes courses such as: Stripper Pole Polishing 101, Condom Application for Beginners, and Introduction to Not Living Like a Complete Whore.

A city spokesperson says that offering the assistance is a great way to transition the workers back into the community and to improve the image of the city.

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